6 Ways to Conquer Your Loneliness Forever.
In life, we all want attention from others to feel happier. Human minds tend to change with time and situation, so one can’t give you company all the time. When you start getting attention from your near and dear ones, your happiness is sky kissing. And when others ignore you, your loneliness is heartbreaking.
The happiness that you get from others does not last long. The moral of the story is that no one can offer you a happy time forever. When you are ignored by someone or by a group of people, you feel insulted and you start feeling lonely.
Why do you feel lonely?
You feel lonely because you are dependent on others for your happiness. You never spent time with yourself alone and you think, without them, you are bored and miserable.
As of before,
“You can be important to someone but not all the time.”
Life is a journey and on this journey, you meet many people but everybody is not suitable for your life. The most important questions are,
are you a suitable person for yourself?
Are you in love with yourself?
Without loving yourself, you can not love others and when there is no love, there is no happiness also.
” To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness.”
Robert Morley.
Table of the content
What is Loneliness?
Difference between Loneliness and Solitude.
Why we are lonely? (the causes)
The effects of Loneliness.
How to deal with Loneliness? (the solutions)
What is Loneliness?
Loneliness is a mental state when you feel all alone and are in want of a companion. It is also described as social pain. It is a psychological state which motivates individuals to seek connections.
In loneliness, you desire a person to spend quality time but you do not have anyone. Then your mind starts thinking that you don’t have anyone special who can understand your pain.
You restrict your social connections and choose to remain within your boundary. Loneliness is a curse in that case as it snatches your happiness and makes you lethargic. If you are not a happy person, you are living your life partially or not living at all.
Loneliness vs Solitude
Someone might say that loneliness is a blessing as it helps one to think properly and make the right decisions. That’s true. WIthout being lonely or alone, you cannot hear your heart call and a heart call assists you to make the right decisions in life.
In that case, you need to understand the difference between Loneliness and solitude.
Loneliness is a state in which you are desiring someone to talk to but you do not have anyone.
Solitude is a mental state when you are willingly enjoying your company and you don’t need anyone to disturb your circumstances.
These two are poles apart. In Loneliness, you are craving for one to spend time and in Solitude, you are disturbed by anyone.
Solitude is the state which is a blessing as it makes you silent and motivates you to rethink your life. It brings you into an unknown realm where you find life in an unfamiliar way. Only it can unfold life’s amazing secrets.
Why We Are Lonely?
No matter how vibrant our lives are, we all are lonely. We just pretend to be connected with others but deep within we all are separated. This sense of separation causes loneliness in us.
We usually find our happiness and when we get happiness from someone, we are attached to that person. And when that person leaves us or hurts us, we become lonely and feel life is on its verge.
The primary reason for loneliness is that we are dependent on others for our survival and our happiness.
Here I will discuss 5 major reasons which cause loneliness in us.
1. You are dependent on your survival.
When you are dependent on others for your survival, there is a chance that they might leave you. And in that case, they can also blackmail you emotionally about this survival issue.
You can not raise your voice against a person who is your bread earner. You might have compromised your self-respect in that case.
If you can not live with your self-respect, there is no freedom in life. When there is no freedom, there is no happiness and without happiness, life has no meaning.
2. Your happiness is others.
“Happiness is an inside job”
William Arthur Ward.
When your happiness is outside, you are continuing suffering. Happiness is the most wanted feeling on this planet. Everyone wants to be happy and they do the jobs that make them happy.
If you are dependent on your friends, family or loved ones for your happiness, you are lonely. When you are in want of anything or anyone, you are lonely, isn’t it?
You are lonely that’s why you are desiring someone. If you were happy, you were peaceful and relaxed. You don’t need anyone then.
If your friends are the reasons for your happiness, their absence makes you lonely. You become serious about them and you wish them to do what you like them doing.
When happiness is not an inside job, you are trapped in this life because you can never find true happiness in this world.
Always remember, you are the Happiness and everything is in you.
To be dependent on happiness is the primary reason for loneliness.
3. You are attached to material objects.
If you are so attached to earthly objects, it is a clear sign that you are a lonely person. Objects are temporary. It makes our lives easy but we are so attached to these things.
Whenever there is attachment, there is pain.
What happens when you are so attached to your favourite car or dress? You become furious if someone scratches your car or throws ink on your dress. You are a slave to your dress then and anyone can make a profit from this issue.
When you give importance to anything more than the deserving, it is attachment.
Suppose, a car is necessary for quick and comfortable transportation, but what if you think a car is everything for you and you are ready to fight with anyone for it?
4. You misunderstand the real meaning of life.
Life is a game and we are not playing it intelligently. We are serious about life and in that case, we miss understanding the real meaning of life.
Life is not what we think it is, it is beyond that. We misunderstand our lives and make it a hurdle, while life is so easy to understand.
What is the correct understanding of this human life?
The correct understanding is when you know the most important things about this human life and you know how fragile this life is.
When you see death in every moment and live every moment fully as if you are going to die in the next moment, you are living the actual life.
5. You are afraid of change.
Why are you lonely? It is because you are afraid of change. But the harsh reality is everything is changing. Without the change, there are no new things.
The main reason for our loneliness is that we all are afraid of change. We are afraid of changing the priorities of our near and dear ones for ourselves.
We are frightened of the thought of losing our loved ones either by chance or by circumstances.
Whenever you are afraid of losing someone or something, you tend to hold them tightly. Then you are desolate as you could not live without them. This fear makes you lonelier and affects your life badly.
The Effects Of Loneliness.
Loneliness impacts the individual and society badly. It not only disturbs your mental health but the whole world.
What an individual does affects the whole and what the whole does affects the individual.
So if you are lonely, it does not only impact your life but your social life also.
Here I will discuss 5 points that will show you how loneliness affects the individual and the whole.
1. You are unhappy and depressed.
Like loneliness, depression is also a curse. This silent enemy can also kill you secretly. With continued loneliness, you become unhappy and a prolonged state of unhappiness transforms into depression.
Depression is a mental state when you see the negative sides of everything. You notice a deficiency everywhere. You start ignoring the good things of your life and intensity the bad things.
Depression is that poor state where you are poor and you don’t dare to do anything in life but survive.
2. Your health deteriorates.
Health is the most expensive wealth. An unhealthy person only knows the value of health. Body and mind are interconnected. A fresh mind refreshes the body and vice versa.
Prolonged mental unhappiness or loneliness affects your body poorly. Your health deteriorates and you become lonelier then. When you are unhealthy and surrounded by diseases, you are more depressed.
It all starts with loneliness but ends with mental and physical unwellness.
3. Relationships collapse.
Loneliness disturbs your family’s health also. Parents and loved ones are also worried about you then and they also become unhappy.
Your relationships collapse as you feel uncomfortable with them and you try to avoid them.
On the other hand, your friends are leaving you because you are not funny anymore. Nobody loves a depressed or boring person as everybody wants to be happy.
4. Society becomes undeveloped.
A lonely person avoids the crowd i.e. the social touches. They are forced to live in their narrow world.
A study has shown that the main reason behind happiness is the connection between two humans. When you are disconnected from society, you are lonely and addicted to something.
A person who is free from any issue related to his body and mind is the reformer of society. He can only develop society. If you are limited to your body and mind, you could not do anything for society.
With more lonely people society remains undeveloped.
5. We lack inspiration and a new way of thinking.
If lonely and depressed persons fill a society, that consumes the inspiration but can never be the inspiration.
A solitary person can only become an inspiration for society. An individual who has conquered his mind can only show society a new way of thinking.
A society progresses with evolving thoughts and new thinking processes.
But what if a lion’s share of society is suffering from loneliness? When the majority of us are lonely(limited to our minds), our society lacks inspiration and novel ideas.
How to Deal with Loneliness.
If there is a problem, there must be a solution. Though loneliness is a big problem, it has also a solution. Here I am going to discuss 6 ways that can show you a path to deal with Loneliness.
1. Be financially independent.
You have to ensure your financial freedom to avoid loneliness for good. Without financial independence, you are always a slave to money. Money is like petrol that keeps your life’s car running.
The first step to being free from loneliness is that you have to be financially independent at any cost. Loneliness is your companion if you are not financially free.
2. Depend on yourself for happiness.
Your dependency on others for happiness is another major reason for loneliness. To deal with this reason, you have to be independent for your happiness.
You can only depend on yourself for your happiness. When your happiness is inside you, there is nothing that can make you lonely and depressed.
Why are you lonely?
Don’t you know you are the source of happiness?
Yes, you are the infinite source of happiness, moreover, you are the happiness. Happiness is inside you, why look outside?
3. Do what you love.
One thing I have learned in my life is that a happy person always chooses his career. Nobody can make you happy if you hate your job. If you love your job or career, you have a source of happiness always.
Choose a career that excites you and makes you financially independent as this only supplies you with enormous happiness.
There is a simple law
Do what you love or love what you do. You cannot do any great thing but the small thing with great love. Nothing exists without love. Love is the inseparable oneness.
4. Don’t be serious about objects.
The more serious you are about the material objects, the more attached you are to them. Objects are objects. They only make your life easier but they are not everything.
Don’t give much importance to any worldly objects, give them as much as they deserve.
For example, money is important for survival but it is not everything. Don’t be a slave to your money rather use the money to make yourself better.
i. Take life lightly as it is a game.
ii. Don’t hold any belief but know how a belief is built.
iii. Don’t take a stand but understand the point.
5. Understand life’s actual meaning.
Life is short for one who is not living it completely and it is gigantic for one who is living in every moment.
What we think about life, is more than that. Try to understand the actual meaning of this human being.
Life is not just gathering something but exploring the unknown realm where you become immortal. The actual meaning of life is understanding the root cause of everything (life, death, rebirth).
Questioning is the beginning of intelligence. Question every aspect of your life to understand its actual meaning.
6. Know that you are infinite.
This is the only sense that makes you happy forever. When you know you are infinite, you have nothing to be worried about. When the whole world is inside you, why you are lonely for someone?
Try to know you are the infinite. Your happiness is infinite when you are infinite. You are the source of everything, you are everything.
How can one be lonely when he knows the entire universe is inside him and he is immortal?
When one is immortal, how death can make him afraid and loneliness can touch his mind? Everything dissolves in our true selves.
“Do not feel lonely,
The entire Universe is inside you.”
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